The True Book of Mostly Unrelated Stories

Grandparenting Tips
by John Mooy

There are now four grandchildren in our lives. They range in age from five years to seven months. It is such a joy to watch them as they begin to navigate the world in which they live.  For me that’s the biggest attraction, watching the problems they have in their day to day living and seeing exactly how they solve them. Just for the record the oldest grandchild is a girl and the first born of all four, in the middle are the two boys and the youngest a girl. So, each family has a boy and a girl.  

What they are all teaching Wendy and me is truly amazing. Sometimes I have to remind them that we don’t work for them. Recently, and for some unknown reason, I made the comment to Wendy from my days in teaching that, “whatever you do for a child that they can do for themselves only increases their dependency on you.” Now, to follow this philosophy takes time because sometimes it’s simply easier for you to do whatever it is they’re asking. And you may possibly be avoiding a mess. And as they grow into independence five words which may strike fear are, “I can do it myself.” But that’s independence in action.

Keeping in mind that we raise young people to be independent requires us to at times see the humor in the situation. Recently I told our grandson I could help him scoop the ice cream for six people to which he responded, “I can do it.” Okay, he counted out six bowls and placed them at spots around the table. Wouldn’t it be easier to put the ice cream in the bowls and then place them around the table? Of course, it would……………for adults. So, I watched as this young fellow dipped the scoop into the ice cream while I held the container. He then took the ice cream to the bowl and returned. Interesting. He used this process as he went bowl to ice cream container to bowl all the way around the table. While on his return to the ice cream he licked the scoop. This showed me he was developing the ability to share………………………his germs.  Ha!

Do you have anything in your home that has buttons to operate something? Put those up higher than the children are able to reach, or small hands will find these devices and they will push every button available. This can foul up everything from the television set to the thermostat to your phone. The three operative words here are “out of reach.” Unfortunately, we have a thermostat that is behind the couch on the wall and it cannot be moved. Why is it so hot in here?

In the back of every Grandparents mind if they want to admit it or not is the thought that no matter what happens at some point they will be going home. Ha, but true.

The dining room table can be like a thrill ride. “You can lift that glass of milk by yourself?” Developing independence, don’t forget. And remember it is a mathematical fact that every child will take three times as much food as they will actually eat? Are you sure you don’t want me to help you pour that syrup on the pancakes for you?

What do you know about the art of negotiating with grandchildren? Here’s all you need to know in this important order. If you do this, this will happen. Example:  If you clean up your mess at the table, YOU can have dessert. Children negotiate the other way around, “can I have the ice cream and then I’ll clean up the table?” And you can guess how that works.

Then there’s TIME: your time, the grandchild’s time and the actual time. Not to be confused with TIME OUT, which is an entirely different matter. Time is a particularly fascinating concept. My wife, for example, goes into a store and indicates to me, “I’ll be right out.” What does that mean? Five minutes, an hour. I could never tell so now she indicates a specific time like, “I’ll be out in fifteen minutes.” Not true.  

With grandchildren it’s interesting to ask them how quickly they can perform a task. In the morning it’s how fast can you get dressed and in the evening it’s how fast can you get into your pajamas. In each instance it will be far longer than you might guess.  I’ve come to realize each child has their own internal time clock. I have suggested to the grandchildren that they not think about a career as a fireman or firelady as most homes would be burned to the ground before they were dressed and ready to go.

   So, my final tip for grand parenting is with each of your grandchildren, enjoy the TIME, forget the Time and in what will seem like no TIME they’ll grow up which will leave you asking, “where did the TIME go?”

Have a great week Marcellus,
you’re the best.  

And to bring a smile perhaps:

Hands down;  6:30 is the best time on the clock.

A time traveler walks into a bar.  He enjoyed his food so  much he went back four seconds.